


The Christmiz Song

by Amy_de_lABC



Series: Christmiz Carols [1]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire, Gen, Parody, The Christmas Song - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 17:51:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amy_de_lABC/pseuds/Amy_de_lABC
Summary: A parody version of "The Christmas Song" (a.k.a. "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire"). "Books in mountains all around Combeferre,/Bahorel punched in the nose..."





	The Christmiz Song

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER:  
> Dear Santa Claus,
> 
> I have been very good this year. Please, PLEASE, PLEEEEEEEASE bring me the legal rights to "Les Misérables" for Christmas. Or at least to the Amis de l'ABC.
> 
> No? Can't I at least have Enjolras? PLEEEEEEASE?
> 
> Not even Grantaire?
> 
> Oh, ALL RIGHT. I guess I'll have to settle for tickets to see the show when it next comes on tour.
> 
> Sincerely,  
> Amy de l'ABC

**Christmiz Carols—The Christmiz Song  
** _Sung to the tune of "The Christmas Song" (a.k.a. "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire")_

Books in mountains all around Combeferre;  
Bahorel punched in the nose;  
Yuletide poems being penned by Prouvaire,  
And Bossuet stubbing all his toes…

Everybody knows that Courfeyrac loves mistletoe.  
Enjy speaks of truth and light;  
Grantaire listens, with his eyes all aglow—  
He's had too many drinks tonight.

And Joly's fearful for his lung,  
So he is looking in the mirror at his tongue,  
While Feuilly paints his fans and wonders why  
The rich, so often, cannot hear beggars cry.

In June, they'll gather on the barricade,  
For there, they hope to stage a coup;  
But now, listen well to their sweet serenade:  
"Merry Christmiz to you!"

**Author's Note:**

> And now, I have a special guest, who would like to read you all a letter.
> 
> Enjolras: *enters in a Santa outfit with a very sulky look on his face* I can't BELIEVE you're making me do this!
> 
> Me: Hey, at least you get to be Santa. *gestures out of readers' line of vision* They're probably jealous of you. *calls in the direction she just pointed* C'mon, guys!
> 
> (Enter Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Joly, Bossuet, Feuilly, Jehan, Bahorel, and Grantaire, dressed as elves.)
> 
> Amis: *grumblegrumble*
> 
> Me: You know, guys, you really ought to be happy you didn't end up as reindeer.
> 
> Enjolras: FINE. *pulls out a letter which says, very conspicuously, "From Santa Claus" on the back*
> 
> Dear Readers,  
> I, Santa Claus, am asking you a favor for Christmas this year. You see, Amy de l'ABC wants something that I cannot give—she wants comments. So I am enlisting your help! Please give your authoress what she wishes for.  
> In order to convince you to do this, my Amis—I mean, elves—and I are now prepared to do a short song and dance number for y—
> 
> WHAT? NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
> 
> Me: Yes.
> 
> Enjolras: No!
> 
> Me: Would you RATHER be reindeer? There ARE nine of you—just the right number! Enjolras can be Rudolph, and you can all do the song—!
> 
> Enjolras: *chokes*
> 
> Jehan: You know…that actually might be fun. I'll be Rudolph!
> 
> Courfeyrac: Yeah! Can I be Prancer?
> 
> Grantaire: *lazily* Comet.
> 
> Bossuet: Hey, Joly, wanna be Dasher, and I'll be Dancer? …actually, let's switch; I can't dance.
> 
> Joly: …do reindeer have FLEAS?
> 
> Enjolras: *sees his opportunity* …YES! Yes, Joly, they DO!
> 
> Joly: AAAAUGH!
> 
> Combeferre: You know, Enjolras, that probably wasn't the kindest thing to do.
> 
> Enjolras: Well, how else am I supposed to get out of this song and dance thing?
> 
> Combeferre: Really, you never know: it might be interesting. We could do a psychological study of the reactions, if nothing else. Besides, personally, I have always rather liked Blitzen…
> 
> Enjolras: O.o
> 
> Me: *over the sudden chaos* Well, anyway, readers, great to see you again! Tune in next time to see the Amis dressed as reindeer, performing "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"! …maybe, anyway. *to Enjolras* What if I changed the song so Rudolph builds a barricade? THEN would you do it?
> 
> Enjolras: Hmph.


End file.
